Hello Fellow Popologists and New Popheads!
Mmm, can you smell the earth, reawakened and unfurling her green fingers towards the sun. Spring is one of my favorite seasons! Especially since we are out of the “Mud Season” which occurs between Winter and Spring. Although it does bring with it this urgent need to work work work, reorganizing your house, your life, and the lives of everyone around you… lol, well, maybe that’s pushing it a bit.
I used to really love a certain day years back in Portland, called “Spring Big Trash Day.” Every building and house in the city was allotted so many large items they could put out for curbside pick-up. Of course, over 50% was picked up by people who needed a newer couch, table, or if handy enough, a dresser that needed more than just a little TLC. It was a sad, sad year when the City announced that there would be no more “Big Trash” days. Which, of course, backfired… now residents simply took their big items a couple of streets over in the dark of night, and then ran home quick as bunnies (usually sweaty bunnies, after the heavy lifting.)
So, it became catch as catch can to find treasures from trash. Kinda like our recent “pus drought”. But I believe, just as the rains of Spring feed the blooms of Summer, we, too, will be rewarded. In the meantime, enjoy another wonderful Guest Top Ten List! A personal thanks to pickypicky for the short time it took her to craft this great collection, and give everyone a nice round out to the week. Enjoy, everyone, and Happy Spring Cleaning!!
PICKYPICKY’S TOP TEN!
Hey there, PTZ friends and neighbors!! Call me Picky…because I am. I’m the kind of wife and mom who lies in wait behind furniture, waiting to hit my long-suffering family members with a flying tackle at the very suggestion of a blocked pore. My children haven’t even hit **ZIT**rty yet, and I’m scouting the Forever-Pimples they harbor (I live for these and my husband gets them sometimes- I’m thrilled that my daughter seems to have inherited this lovely tendency!) I love the fact that my parents are entering that later phase of life that lends itself to blackheads and cysts, and I’ve already put bids in to film squeezes that have yet to form.
I’m the member of my family who gets pulled into the other room at Thanksgiving, only to be told to “have a look at THIS- I knew that YOU would want to get ahold of THIS one!”
And, they’re always right.
I knew I was pretty far gone when I learned that one of my coworkers (years ago) harbored a LOVELY sebaceous cyst in the middle of her back. It was bothering her, and trying to keep my glee from being TOO obvious, I offered to make the ultimate sacrifice and squeeze it for her.
IT WAS AMAZING. IT WAS BREATHTAKING. IT TOOK 3 PAPER TOWELS TO CLEAN UP.
However, I was a lost cause from that point. Like a junkie needing a fix, whenever I’d see her at work my eyes would start to dilate, and my fingers would twitch. I started compulsively asking, “So, you need me to squeeze it again?” If only I had known about PTZ those years ago, I’d have had a couple 5 star originals to share.
Little did I know there was a WHOLE COMMUNITY lurking in the shadows of the Internet, just waiting to welcome my pickypicky fingers with open arms! When the “Two Girls, One Cyst” video went viral, I saw it on FaceBook, and I must have watched it 12 times in the same day. Until that fateful vidoe, I never realized there were zit vids…I snuck onto the computer in the middle of the night so no one would catch me, watched it over and over again, then started searching, and found my way to PTZ.
I love being a part of this PTZ community- PTZers rock! I have finally come out of the Zit Closet- And my family is happy, too- now instead of picking on them, I just log on and view my favorites again…and again….and again….
So here are some of my favorites for the Pickster’s Top Ten!
1. The Weight of the Pus on my Shoulder- parts 1 & 2
I have watched and rewatched this video until my eyes crossed. If it was a VHS, I would have worn the tape out. This has to be the all-time winner (in my book) for pure pus awesomeness- it’s gooey, it’s everywhere, it’s GREEN, and it just keeps coming! How his girlfriend could stand back and let all this fun happen without her, I’ll never understand. Cute guy, in underwear, and huge abscess. It doesn’t get much better than that. It could, quite possibly, be utter relationship perfection.
2. Painful Cyst Removal- Sebaceous Cyst Removal from Back-Done in Home-Alabama Style
It was everything I thought it would be, and more. I wanna have coffee with this guy’s sister. I thought the hole looked like a tiny little mouth urping all over the place. Just when I thought it was done, its gag reflex would kick in and spew more pus. It was like me in college, discovering the vital difference between beer and malt liquor.
3. Sebaceous Cyst Exploding
How I LOVE this lady’s disgusting grandson. I love him so much, that if he gets a lot of these, I might consider bigamy…maybe not bigamy, but at least some sort of property rights on his abscesses. This was a mega pus fountain. It was the gift that kept giving, and giving, and giving…loving ALL over the replay.
4. Jaw Full
Thank you, pus-face John, and his dear friend Vernon, holder of the camera for the filming of this lovely pus ker-pow.
5. Ear zit blaster- just awesome- steak knife involved
This is just some good old-fashioned family fun right here. Who needs Parcheesi when we’ve got ZitCheesi?
6. 3D Neck Cyst Action
Dayum. I mean, DAYUM.
First I kind of wondered if this might have just been a gland swelling, but we got some SERIOUS pus action happening here! In all its fantastic, gooey, yellow fabulousness! One good slice, one good squeeze, and this darling man’s neck friggin EXPLODES. What more could a girl ask for? Oh yeah- perhaps to be the one to get the four finger squeeze on that sucker. I better put on my dollar-store poncho first, though. Unfortunately, the Original posting of this video came in two parts, but YT pulled them both, and so far I can only find this half.
7. Piles and Piles of Pus
I really think this pus looks like a bee-yoo-tee-full Pus Flower springing out of his back. Somebody shoot that screamer, please, she’s ruining this beautiful moment. I think perhaps she thinks she’s protecting her stellar reputation as the epitome of femininity, but we know what’s really going on here. She’s faking that scream so people won’t be appalled at how much she’s really enjoying this pus fiesta. At least there’s one guy in the audience who admits how much fun he’s having- I’m with that dude! I’d be wrestling the Tube Top Doc for the rights to squeeze this!
8. Cease and de-cyst
OOOOh, no, that’s no boil, campers. That’s a lovely, gunky sebaceous cyst. The kind that I live for. The kind that make my fingers itch. The kind that, if I could only encounter one again, I’d film beautifully, with a tripod, using a four finger squeeze hold and I would linger on the final product. No Hyper Wiper would DARE to come within a thousand feet or they would risk a maiming. I would duct-tape the mouths of all squeaky, screechy witnesses.
9. Shoulder Fountain/Susan’s Infection Draining Operation
I’ve always enjoyed this one, mainly because Susan seems to have a sense of humor, and a fun accent to go with. I regret that we never got to see the one on Johnny’s **ZIT**, though.
10. Pete Popped a Pustulant Pimple
I LOVE it when a lump goes right down to **ZIT**y. I wish I could have had a go…but it didn’t put me off my two-minute noodles, it just made me want some more.
I hope they didn’t feed it to the cats.
Until we meet again, my friends… see you in the pages and POP ON!!!
CLICK HERE FOR THE MAIN HALPH STAPH’S CORNER PAGE! A GREAT PLACE FOR NEWCOMERS!!!!